Biblical Roles for Spouses and Money: Navigating Finances and Faith in a Christian Marriage

I'm going to get in trouble for this one. I'm sure of it. 

Are financial roles within a Christian marriage preordained by scripture, or is there more to the story? 

What does the Bible say?

Let's shatter some long-held misconceptions together as we explore the intersection of faith and finances on the Money Minister podcast. Your host, Catherine Van Der Laan, financial coach and aspiring minister, guides you through the often-misunderstood Proverbs 31 and what it truly suggests about the economic partnership in a marriage. 

Prepare to be inspired by the example of the wife of noble character and how she exemplifies financial acumen, regardless of gender expectations. 

We tackle the tough questions head-on, offering insights that promise more harmony in your financial and marital life.

This episode is not just about debunking myths; it's a call to foster communication, teamwork, and the discovery of financial truths that align with both scripture and personal well-being. 

We examine the lives of biblical couples like Aquila and Priscilla and their harmonious approach contrasted against the cautionary tale of Ananias and Sapphira. 

It's time to move past fear-based motivations in managing money within marriage and, instead, embrace the strength found in unity. 

Join us as we chart a path towards financial wisdom that does more than just align with scripture – it reinforces the bonds of marriage and deepens your connection with God.

Book a free coaching session: https://www.saverstreet.com/free-consultation

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:09

So if you're sitting there and you're wondering what are the biblical roles for finances, what are the biblical roles in a family, you know who earns the money, who manages the money, who does this and who does that. The Bible is not clear on this. I think the Bible is not clear because God treats everyone as if they were equal right. God does not see slave or free. God does not see man or woman. God does not see Greek or Jew. What he sees is a child of his own, child of God who loves him or, hopefully, who he loves, who Jesus died for and who is now free. This is the Money Minister podcast. I bet you thought I'd be a man. My name is Katherine Vanderlaan and I'm a financial coach and minister in training. Vanderlaan and I'm a financial coach and minister in training. I firmly believe that Christians shouldn't have money worries.

Speaker 1: 1:08

This podcast is about keeping money in its place as a tool and not allowing it to rule your life. Welcome back to the Money Minister. My name is Catherine Vanderlaan. I'm a financial coach, a Jesus lover, am a pastor's wife and a minister in training.

Speaker 1: 1:28

Money is a tricky topic and God actually says a lot about managing money in the Bible. This podcast is about helping you, as a Christian, navigate some interesting questions, tricky topics, emotional ideas, in line with what God says about money and about what we are supposed to do. God says a lot about money in the Bible, and today we are discussing a really difficult topic. We are discussing biblical roles for spouses when managing finances. What a topic, right. Biblical roles for spouses when managing your. What a topic, right? Biblical roles for spouses when managing your money, managing your budget. Now, this topic comes from questions that I've been asked by men and women at churches, when giving financial classes and when coaching Christian couples. If you think this is out of left field, then I'm here to tell you a lot of people live in left field and ask questions from the left field. From left field, because I get this question more often than you think. I am asked pretty often what is the man's role when managing finances and what is the woman's role? So let's dive in to what God says and make sure that it's in context. So I'm a very big advocate for reading the Bible in context. It cannot mean to us now what it didn't mean to them.

Speaker 1: 2:51

Then let's read Proverbs 31, or at least some snippets from Proverbs 31. All right, if you know the Bible at all and you know Proverbs 31, then you know that verses 10 and on until the end 10 through 31, is about a wife of noble character. Now I read the NASB translation. I really love it. I have the NIV open here, but for this podcast I read from the World English Bible, and I read from the World English Bible because it does not hold a copyright, so that I'm not in copyright infringement. That is really the only reason. So if you'd like to read Proverbs 31 on your own in your own translation, feel free. I have read many, many multiple translations of the Bible and the World English Bible is pretty good. So here we are. I'm going to read 10 through 31 for you right here on the podcast.

Speaker 1: 3:52

A wife of noble character who can find she is worth far more than rubies. Her husband had full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings good to him, not harm. All the days of her life she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night. She provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it Out of her earnings. She plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously. Her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household, for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed. She is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate where he takes a seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praises her. Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. Now I'm a little bit emotional when reading this because I would love to hear that Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.

Speaker 1: 6:01

Let's get into this, because the question usually behind the question of what is the biblical role is when people I mean sometimes people ask it in all earnest and honesty. Right, they ask it to know what it is that they should be doing and shouldn't be doing. Most people ask that question to know who should be in charge, who gets to be in control. And some people ask that question so that they can say it's not my job, I don't have to do it. When I'm teaching classes or coaching a Christian couple and actually coaching anyone in a couple, most of the time there are roles. One person will look at the finances and crunch the numbers and the other person will make sure that the household is still having some fun, that it's balanced, there isn't too much restriction. We're not just going for our goals and goal oriented and forgetting that they're in a relationship. Often when I'm asked this particular question what are the biblical roles it is either a can I get out of doing any work question or a can I be in control and in charge and can I tell my spouse what to do?

Speaker 1: 7:16

If we look at Proverbs 31 here and this is centered on a woman she is diligent, she works hard, she owns multiple businesses, she has a vineyard, she is making linen garments and sashes. Her trading is really profitable. She has multiple businesses and she's making a significant profit right. She holds the disc staff, she grasps the spindle with her fingers. She's generous, she opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. She has no fear for her household. She is organized, she knows where the money is going, she makes decisions on her own and her husband is well-respected at the city gate. He takes a seat among the elders of the land. So he's doing something as well. He absolutely is. He is running a good, fair amount and he is also doing his own work at the city gate with the elders of the land. So maybe he's a judge, maybe he's who knows what he's doing with the elders of the land. So maybe he's a judge, maybe he's who knows what he's doing, but he's doing something.

Speaker 1: 8:23

We see this picture, and this is a picture of an ideal woman. So that ideal woman has nothing to do with how she looks, absolutely has nothing to do with her charm. It actually has everything to do with how she takes care of the people around her, how she is so giving, so diligent, so hardworking. She is constantly thinking about the other people. She is also taking care of herself. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed. They don't call her a gossip. They don't call her cruel. They don't call her a gossip. They don't call her cruel. They don't call her abusive. They call her blessed, and her husband also praises her.

Speaker 1: 9:09

So if we're looking at biblical roles, as to who manages the money, I mean I've read the Bible maybe 26, 27 times now, I don't know I haven't. I stopped counting after a while. I read it once a year and I can tell you I don't see anything. And go ahead and comment, tell me if you think I'm wrong. I don't see anything in the Bible that says a woman can't work, a woman can't manage the finances, that a woman can't make trades and do something that's profitable. I don't see anything that says a woman can't make financial decisions. I actually see praise for women who do she considers a field and buys it. It doesn't say she consulted with her husband although if you're married, I think for big financial decisions going consult your husband it says that she does the work, she is the one making the decisions.

Speaker 1: 10:05

Now, there isn't one of these for a man, you know, a man of noble character, because that's assumed throughout the Bible. It is assumed that they're talking to men because most of the time in Jewish culture, men were the ones who were studying the scriptures, because most of the time in Jewish culture, men were the ones who were studying the scriptures. So this is specifically for a woman and I called out this specific place in the Bible, these specific verses calling out a woman, because very often the rest of the Bible is assumed to be for men. It is assumed that the man is going to work. It is assumed that the man is the provider. It is assumed that he will manage finances. Now it's calling out that a woman will also do that for her household. So if you're sitting there and you're wondering what are the biblical roles for finances, what are the biblical roles in a family. You know who earns the money, who manages the money, who does this and who does that.

Speaker 1: 11:01

The Bible is not clear on this. I think the Bible is not clear because God treats everyone as if they were equal right. God does not see slave or free. God does not see man or woman. God does not see Greek or Jew or a woman. God does not see Greek or Jew. What he sees is a child of his own, child of God who loves him, or, hopefully, who he loves, who Jesus died for and who is now free.

Speaker 1: 11:34

You are free to use your strengths to lean on your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. Free to use your strengths to lean on your strengths and strengths and your weaknesses. You are free, as a married couple, to operate in the way that God has called you to, not to fill somebody's opinion about what a biblical role is. You are free to be, well, one of two kinds of couples in the New Testament, right, you can be Aquila and Priscilla, or, most commonly said, priscilla and Aquila. So Priscilla was generally the lead there in terms of a missionary couple, two people who were quiet missionaries, supported churches, started churches, and we see that they quietly took people aside like they took Apollos aside and instructed him in the baptism of the Holy Spirit and gave him more information that was more complete when he was out proselytizing.

Speaker 1: 12:37

So you can either be like that, managing your affairs quietly and together as a unified couple, leaning on your strengths and strengthening your weaknesses, or you can be like Ananias and Sapphira, who, in Acts, decided that they would sell their fields. Just like a lot of people were selling their fields and giving to the church. They would sell their field and keep some back and lie to the church and lie to the Holy Spirit. It was theirs to do with what they wanted and they conspired together. Now God struck them both dead, probably to make a point right. Can't lie to me. I don't appreciate corruption within the church, and so go forward in that way. Go forward in truth, go forward in faithfulness, go forward in real reverence for God. Don't think that you can profit off of this. Don't think that you can lie to God.

Speaker 1: 13:38

If we are really discussing here the role of men and women in managing personal finances, god makes you free. Jesus died for you. Jesus broke free from those restraints and you can go operate in that freedom. And you can go operate in that freedom. Proverbs 31 was written by King Lemuel, which we think is King Solomon, so it was way before Jesus, but in his lineage, so way before Jesus. And even then he is talking about a woman who is like the merchant ships bringing her food from afar, somebody who provides food for her family and portions for her female servants, someone who considers a field and buys it out of her earnings. She plants a vineyard, she establishes a new business. That even then, when we had, I think, the third or fourth, depending on how you count, king of Israel, king Solomon, we had an idea of a woman who could manage finances for their entire family.

Speaker 1: 14:56

Now the real issue that we need to discuss if you're on the control side, why it is you think you need control over your family finances. And if you're on the it's not my job side, why you think that you don't have any input or you don't want to do the work. Most of the time, both of those are fear based. So if you want control, you're usually afraid that your spouse is not going to make great decisions and that giving away some of the control is going to hurt your family finances. Open up communication, talk about your needs, talk about what you are afraid of and really become that team, the team that you and your spouse need to have together. On the other side, if you are afraid that having more control or more visibility into your finances is going to feel restrictive, I have not seen that to be the case.

Speaker 1: 15:52

Most of the time when people do their finances together as a couple, they discover the truth. And the truth I mean, this is a cliche, right the truth will set you free, but it really does. It really will. So they discover the truth, they go in that exploration phase. This is part of my coaching that I do with couples. We explore, we establish what the truth really is. Pull back the curtain, as it were. I'm not God, so I'm not gonna rip it from top to bottom, but pull back the curtain. Then we establish a plan, we uncover the emotions behind that and work through it, and then we track toward goals and learn about long-term financial health. And that's the coaching program that I do. You can do it on your own. You absolutely can. I would.

Speaker 1: 16:42

If you are concerned about losing any sort of freedom that you have, budgeting is not about losing freedom. It is about making sure that you are being a good steward of the money that God has given you, and you are making choices that are good for your long-term health and future and that of the kingdom of God. So don't be afraid of losing control or losing fun you actually have. You end up having a lot more fun when you are budgeting because you're not concerned about not having enough money for your bills. You are not concerned about not giving enough. You are not concerned about a lot of things when you know where your money is going, because it is aligned to who you are and where you want to be.

Speaker 1: 17:23

If you are struggling with any of this and you're wondering what is my role and can I just get out of it or can I take control, if you have either of those two attitudes, it doesn't usually go well in a marriage when it comes to controlling finances. Resentment builds because generally it's a lack of communication between spouses. So if you are struggling with that, I have a link down at the bottom to schedule a complimentary consultation with me. To schedule a complimentary consultation with me. Investing in your future, investing in your finances, will help you throughout your life, lower your stress, make sure you're on the path that God wants you on financially and career-wise and everything, and you will find that you have not lost control. You've actually gained it, that you are using the talents that God gave you for the kingdom of God, for that eternal prize where rust does not destroy and moths do not eat up. So if you want to align your actions, align your finances and your behaviors with what God wants for you in your life, align your finances and your behaviors with what God wants for you in your life, schedule a time with me. I want to meet with you. I want to help you with this. Let's get going and I will see you in the next episode.

Speaker 1: 18:44

This is the Money Minister. Thank you for listening to this episode of Living a Budget. I'm glad you're here. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate our podcast on iTunes or whatever you're using to listen. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram at saverstreet, and if you need help with your personal finances, feel free to book a complimentary consultation at saverstreetcom. We'll help you find what you need in your journey to financial independence. I'll see you in the next episode.